I haven’t published anything for three years since the dawn of the pandemic. It’s not that I haven’t written – I have, a handful of times, for myself.  I just haven’t had the courage to post. But why?

THE IMPERMANENCE OF OPINION

Years ago, I would have given anything to have a job in the entertainment industry. I used to dream of being a development executive at a company like Netflix. And to a degree, I pursued it in the early 2010’s. I wanted to produce content that made people laugh, feel real emotion and empathy.

And while some content fulfills that vision, other content contains disempowering messages or provokes a felt sense of fear. We’re now inundated and buried in hours of streaming, gaming, podcast and social media content. It can distract us from being creators in our own lives, swallowing up the empty space and silence so that we remain disconnected from ourselves and our local and global communities.

Like anything, content is neither good nor bad. Perhaps it depends on the intention of the creator and the motivation of the consumer. Perhaps it’s a matter of everything in moderation. The point is, I no longer dream of working at Netflix.

I also used to say that I would NEVER live in the suburbs, where everything is cookie cutter and squished together. I only wanted to live in historic, nature filled city boroughs or in a dreamy country setting. Then I discovered that big city energy fries my nervous system, while the country (within reasonable distance) fries our budget. That, and field mice!

High Park Dream vs. Country Retreat vs. Reality

Lo and behold we bought a 20-year-old house in a northern suburb, and I feel more spacious and at peace. Do I miss the yummy city food options? Absolutely. Is this our forever dream home? Likely not. The point is my opinions change, all the time, so how can I trust my own voice?

Up until now, I only wanted to post pieces I could stand behind for years. To avoid feeling like a hypocrite. Now I’m giving myself permission to change my mind and dear reader, that goes for you too.

THE PEOPLE VS. THE PEOPLE

Then the pandemic happened, and again I experienced a shifting perspective. It was unprecedented. I cannot say that I would have made better or different choices than the leaders at the time. But what I have seen, I personally cannot unsee. It felt like the ‘niceness’ of Canadians was weaponized: “you’re either for us or against us. And if you’re against us, get out.”

I found myself holding my tongue for fear of being stereotyped as a bad guy. When a co-worker proudly announced in a team meeting that they had gotten their booster, I could not similarly boast that I was unlikely to get mine. I started to feel bothered by how celebrities could use their voice to support shots and be labelled as heroes, while those who had questions or were unsure could not.

On what topic do we all have the exact same opinion without any nuance or variation? What actions do we all unanimously take and feel at peace about? We all define success and failure differently based on our values, upbringings, resources, and awareness. And how boring would it be if we all thought and acted the same? If we all looked the same? If we never changed and stayed the same?

Pondering the big questions at Bluewater Beach in Ontario

As long as we feel threatened by people different from us, we can be pitted against each other on polarizing, socially charged issues. Too distracted to realize that we are all stuck in the same system, playing by rules that we in large part did not create and have little control over as individuals.

What I know to be true is that most people are doing their very best. Making the best choices they can, for the wellbeing of themselves and their families. I also know that we all make mistakes, have wisdom and stories to share. United we stand, divided we fall.

REASONS NOT TO POST

1. To not be judged or labelled by others.
2. To not lose the respect and friendship of others.
3. To not lose out on employment or professional opportunities.
4. To not make others feel judged or uncomfortable. Especially those I love.
5. To not display an inflated sense of self importance.
6. To not judge myself.
7. To stay safely undercover.

REASON TO POST

To share the truth of the moment with an open heart, in the hopes that it will give others permission to do the same, or at the very least, provide a felt sense of community and kinship. All are welcome here xo.